What does this all mean anyways?

Today I decided to take my son to school then come home and go back to bed. What a concept! I read for a awhile, a new book I got yesterday called "Farm City" by Novella Carpenter. It chronicles her attempt at turning an abandoned lot next to her apartment in Oakland into a lush super-garden. While I am certainly intrigued and even vaguely inspired to get up and work on my own little 8x16 slice of paradise, I wonder how one stays motivated long enough to follow through on something like a little ECOSYSTEM. I also think I lack the patience to garden from seed--what is happening there under the ground where I can't see? Perhaps it is just more evidence of that very infantile ethos I oftentimes find myself working off of, which is most succinctly stated as "If I can't see it, it must not exist". I am WAY to into instant gratification for gardening.

So then I went to another blog I'm often interested in, that of Ayelet Waldman. I enjoyed her book "Bad Mother", and though I found her observations witty and insightful, I am bothered by what a sense of self promotion that I pick up in her writings. Perfect fodder for my restless mind on this foggy morning! I come to find that she doesn't have a blog-she Tweets! Everything you always wanted to say in 140 characters or less. Sheesh. What is our world coming to? So I read a few posts and all she's doing lately is complaining about air travel and the Marriot hotel chain. Wholly unsatisfying.

So I am left wondering, what does this all mean? What am I into? What am I passionate about? I honestly don't know, and I feel like any attempt I might make into trying some things out would render me nothing but a poser. I LIKE a lot of things, put I'm not passionate about any one thing. People who are passionate seem to easily cross the line into fanaticism....I don't want to be a one dimensional, crazy person! How can I be fully pour myself into something and be good at it without becoming obsessed? What does it all mean anyways??!